Keith Bibbs

"16 Bars For 38 Stars" reveals the exciting beauty of basketball viewed through a Hip-Hop lens. This groundbreaking book is for lovers of roundball, rap music, and movies. An opus for the fans who spring out of their seats when hoopers perform that magic. Lyricism for Hip Hop fans who marvel at metaphors that make jaws drop. Bars so witty you still quote 'em years later. This is artistry brought to life with vivid and colorful wordplay that speaks to your creative soul. "16 Bars" is the intersection of Hip Hop and Hoops. Here's the roster in no particular order:

 

1. ​ JAMAL CRAWFORD                   11. CONNIE HAWKINS                     21. ROD STRICKLAND                      31. SHAWN KEMP

2.  JA MORANT                                 12. RONNIE FIELDS                          22. EARVIN JOHNSON                      32. LAMELO BALL

3.  ALLEN IVERSON                        13. ISIAH THOMAS                           23. VINCE CARTER                            33. DAMIAN LILLARD

4   JULIUS ERVING                          14. KYRIE IRVING                             24. KEVIN DURANT                          34. TIM HARDAWAY

5.  BARON DAVIS                            15. CLYDE DREXLER                        25. BILLY HARRIS                             35. SHAQUILLE O'NEAL

6.  GOD SHAMMGOD                     16. RAFER ALSTON                           26. STEPH CURRY                             36. DERRICK ROSE

7.  DOMINIQUE WILKINS              17. STEVE FRANCIS                          27. EARL MONROE                           37. KOBE BRYANT

8.  PETE MARAVICH                       18. RUSSELL WESTBROOK             28. STEPHON MARBURY                 38. MICHAEL JORDAN

9.  TRACY MCGRADY                    19. MAHMOUD ABDUL-RAUF        29. RAYMOND LEWIS

10. DONOVAN MITCHELL             20. JASON WILLIAMS                       30. BRYAN LEACH

 

-Also included are bonus bars for one of my favorite players and the "Day One" Gil's Arena crew for re-igniting my passion for the game.
 

*KLAY THOMPSON

*GILBERT ARENAS

*RASHAD MCCANTS

*KENYON MARTIN

*BRANDON JENNINGS

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

​

Please remember, these are 38 OF the most exciting hoopers ever. I am not saying these are THE 38 most exciting hoopers ever. Although the title is "16 Bars", a bar being the length of a rap verse, it's much closer to 64+ for each man. And the bios are the exact opposite of your typically dull Wikipedia page. But don't take my word for it. Here's half of "Starbury's" bars and just a lil' taste of his bio/bars. The grammar is intentionally incorrect. Talkin' my shit how we talk that good shit in the barbershops, on the courts, in the parks. On the porches, at the cook-outs, in the whips, etc. The commas are intentionally incorrectly placed in some instances. Thus, allowing everyone, while reading it, to break the bar off at the proper point and maintain the proper cadence.

STEPHON "STARBURY" MARBURY aka "CONEY ISLANDS' FINEST" aka "STEPH"

Spectacular.
Boring basketball saboteur.

The "Super-defender" killer. If Lex Luthor was a hooper.
Larry to J. Edgar. "J" forever struck fear of them Hoovers.
Rick Rubin of the Ankle Movin'. Panic producer.
Gave PGs anxiety.
Bathroom time spenders at his mere mention.
Opps doing #2s, like odes to Ticonderoga pencils.
Fear inspiring. Terrifying improvising.
"I come in peace." Nigga lying.
Why that right-hand, murder trial testifying?
On an island, frightening as Kong.
First step more impressive than Neil Armstrong's.
Kill neophytes like Neo fights.

Put a pair'a sights on parasites.
Dime gems? Scandalous.
Princess cuts like Prince's cuts.
The "Back 'em down" bully.
Mister Better Instruct The Jury.
"Stone-cold sniper" bred.
Medusa usta give that beautiful jumper head.
Tai Chi torments. Heater hell bent.
Six-feet, two-inch of belligerence.
Starbucks baristas not needed. Son grinds different.
Point guards signing to meet Osiris.
Double teamed? Opps' bodies dropped like D-Boy prepaid items.
Starbury to buckets, like words to Webster.
Points like, "They went thattaway, Sheriff!" 
Gift them last two minutes, hammers, nails and a drill.
Type nigga love it, when that pressure builds.
Niggas in-fighting. Steph homicide implying.
Now Opps compliant as VIP Room stripper vagina.
The '94 MVP on them ABCD bullies.
Vaccaro marveling at talent, mammoth as BC Woollys.
Exhibitions of just silly dribbling.
Handle in "Kee-kee mode."
Fingertip dribbler. No palmer. Never "Ke-Ke mode"

How dynamic?
Fred Hampton of them handle antics.

Highly touted. Still fucking up that good-ass advanced scouting.
Routing doubters of them N.Y. "Coney I" superpowers.
Routinely Houdini.
Crossover so obscenely genie.
Three grown men. Three wishes that, "Marbury, he don't see me."
Laid stiff tryna corner greatness. R.I.P. "PG Drew Bundinis." 
Reputation?
The Opps' Involuntary Lower Leg Shaker.
Gave him a handle. Turned Killing Machine.
Why muhfuckas c'aint have nice things.
Smooth hood player, as them niggas side-zippin' them Mauri gators.
Hall of Fame need to be extending this man all his flowers
That mixtape? More bangers than 80s' Cabrini Green Row Houses.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BIO SNIPPET:

Now I ain't insider enough to know what truly led to Stephon wanting outta Minny. I've heard what I've heard and rumors abound. But I don't speculate. Bottom line? Eighteen games deep into Season Three and  Starbury was traded to the New Jersey Nets. Aiight, so not quite The Apple. But that bitch ain't but a bridge away. Year One, 23.4 ppg and 8.7 dimes. Next year kid makes All-NBA Third Team off that 22.2 and 8.4 work. Sending defenders to that afterlife paradise. But somehow son DON'T make the All-Star team. What-in-the-entire-fuck!? Given that the same thing happened to Rod Strickland, year after year, this almost feels like some "Anti-NYC" sabotage shit. But it is what it is. So, 2000-01 rolls around and the Pasha de Cartier's' stating, 'bout to be "Demon time." Coney Isle's child pours in 23.9 and 7.6 dimes. Put a career high 50 on Shaq and Kobe's Lakers.

Arsonist evidence.
Ex-G-Tech fire accelerant.
The Lakers 50-point gifter.
Right hand red. Nigga playing Twister.
Just effortless elevation.

Nicer with that vision than Book of Revelation.
The hooper's horror story.
Fan mail from Annabelle.
A handle that's Azrael's spirit an-i-mal.
Heater with that typhus fever.
Got that rapt attention. Wet breastisis inside'a wife-beaters.

Even visiting arenas needing to see that man cook.
Emeril demos.
Ye' ready. Handle getting mix signals.
Seen the man killing legends like Donnie Yen dueling pistols.
Crowd chanting.
Steph passing Moses two tablets. Handle SO damn commanding.

Hops taking on air like them shits inner tubes.

Opening that velvet rope to that Den of Smoke. "Enter fools."
This the coast-to-coast killer, 76ers to Clippers.
"J" softer than walkin' in Bruce's, "Enter The Dragon" Chinese slippers.   
Never fail to shoot that pretty bitch at its apex.
Prettiest form this side of Nikki in that pink latex.

Heater aim better than Blood or Piru drive-bys.

Go War of The World on a nigga, but shit ain't Sci-Fi.
Raise banners saluting Steph's handle dancers.
But ought not move, to them "Crossover ball" autotunes.
Same effect, as them Malcolm X, Audubon Ballrooms.
Trey, three-heater squeezing.
Satan vocations.
Pull-ups killing the Opps' "Top eight players rotations."
Heater sprays casually.
Eight incapacitated, grazed or fatalities.
Was Hov givin' up game in them, "Where I'm From" lines?
"It always starts out with 3 dies, and shoot the five."
Causing Opps' doom. Locker room friction. Niggas at odds.

Fat Joe chain-swinging 'ass-nigga, for the way he Tear-A-Squad. (If you know you know.)

You get the idea. Even the bios have bars on bars on bars! Order a copy for yourself, a friend, or a family member who loves and appreciates Hoops and/or Hip Hop. This also serves as a perfect and unique Father's Day gift.